History in my Hands, by Ollie Owl

HISTORY IN MY HANDS:

The mail volume that night three weeks before the Presidential
Election of 2000 was extremely heavy. As a rehab with a permanent
injury while a mail carrier, I was assigned as a distribution clerk
casing mail in the rehab section of the General Mail Center in
Jacksonville, Florida. This section was charge with placing mail
that was either too large or could not be processed through the
automated machines into mail cases. Once these cases were pulled
down the mail was placed in trays, placed in rolling bins and
sent to the various post offices in the North Florida and Southern
Georgia areas. Other sections of the GMC would case the mail
going to other parts of florida and throughout the Nation.

One night while casing mail, I came across a large envelope that
didn't have a cancellation stamp, no date, no postage and no return
address. I thought to myself this isn't right, knowing that it was an
absentee ballot probably coming from overseas. I weight the envelope
attached the proper postage from my own stamp book, cancelled and
dated it and on the front I wrote my work site, telephone number and
inialed it and put it in the proper tray. In the next few weeks I
did this on several envelopes. From this moment up until the
expiration date that absentee ballots would be counted I made a
concerted effort to process mainly absentee ballots. Every night
I would go through the bins of mail to be cased, remove them and
take them to my case and insure that they would be directed to
the right post office. I went to most of the employees on my
tour and ask them to lay aside the absentee ballots they handled
and I would come by and pick them up.

The day after the election of 2000, when it became apparent
that the presidential election would be decided by Florida's
absentee ballots I increased my efforts. One night sitting
at my case with several trays of absentee ballots, I thought
to myself that I had history sitting right there at my feet.
That if I was that type, which I'm glad I'm not, I could very
well change the outcome of history by making these absentee
ballots disappear. Knowing at that time that most of these
ballots were coming from military bases outside of
florida and that most of them voted Republican. In this
election I personally didn't vote for either candidate and
in the last election I voted for Mortimer Snerd.

On a second thought, the way things have evolved over the
last eight years, I probably should have made these absentee
ballots disappear.

Joe's in charge, by Ollie Owl

Putting Joe Biden in charge of rebuilding the middle class is the
same as the old trite adage of, "putting the fox in charge of the hen house".
What is left of the chickens will soon disappear. does anyone really
believe that all the efforts that the powers that are have put in to
destroy the middle class are going to let that happen. Ain't no way.
History contradicts reason. Reagan put George H. W. in charge
of decreasing governmental regulations. They were increased.
Clinton put Gore in charge of tree hugging and he wound up
french kissing the climate controlers. George W. put Cheney
in charge of energy and you see what happened there. The
gas prices shot up like a rocket. Welcome to the New World
Order they call Globalization, which I call the New Global
Plantation. Fellow peons I'll see you on the cotton farm.

President elect Obama please don't do us anymore
favors, we've had enough of them from past administrations.

Obama's Stimulus Package by Ollie Owl

Obama's stimulus Package includes billions of dollars for
infrastructure, especially for roads and bridges. Don't be
surprised that most of these funds will go to the states of
Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma and Texas.
It's going to be a tremendous economic boon for the
illegal workers that are going to be hired. Until our current
tax system is changed and the lost jobs have been returned,
the downturn in our economy will continue. Of course, in my
opinion, that's the way it was planned.

Portrait of a Poem. by Ollie Owl.

In words there is music,
Of what the writers feel;
Whether it be mere fantasy,
Or whether it be for real;

A beautiful Portrait painted,
By the artist's loving hand;
Offers reasons to the meaning,
Of all that in life will demand;

The poem is a portrait,
That is a work of Art;
With words instead of colors,
It tends the broken heart;

Quoting Ollie Owl, The Credit Crunch.

One good thing about the current credit crunch is that our mailbox
isn't jammed with credit card offers or with credit card bills, because
I don't have any credit cards. I learned that lesson sixty years ago.
I made up mind then, If I can't afford to pay cash - I don't need it.

Yes, Donald there is a Santa Claus, by Ollie Owl.

Dear Editor, I am 68 years old and my little friends say there is no
Santa Claus. Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Donald, there use to be a Santa Claus, but he retired many years ago.
He was given a Golden Parachute of several hundred millions of dollars
when he sold his interests in the toy factory. A foreign subsidiary of an
American corporation bought the toy factory, laid off all the elves and
moved the toy factory offshore to take advantage of the cheaper labor.
Now your parents are paying for the sub-standard toys that are being
manufactured overseas. Yes, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as sure
as the National News Media exists to tell you what the politicians really
meant to say. Although you and most Americans will not see any gifts
under a non-existent Christmas tree, the Christmas haters have seen
to that, does not mean that there is no Santa. Santa Claus lives and will
continue to live to make glad the hearts of the financial interests. However,
today he is better known as the "United States Government", who lavish
expensive gifts on the largest contributors to their campaign fund in order
to stay in power, using your parents tax money.


Ollie Owl
Editor
Swampland Gazette

Playing Games by Ollie Owl.

The plans of men and women,
Many times they do go astray;
When they are lost in the reverie,
Of the little games that people play;

Bah! Humbug!, by Rodney Rat

It was the morning of Christmas,
While waiting for Santa to come;
He was late as usual,
That fat inconsiderate bum;

The children had already arose,
And visited the Christmas tree;
Looking for all their presents,
That they would never see;

The children nestled back into their beds,
And me in front of the fire place;
Calling Santa every name in the book,
Oh! what an humongous disgrace,

Setting across from the chimney,
A twelve gauge as my clout;
When his feet touch the floor,
I'm going to take that sucker out;

There came a clatter upon the roof,
That gave me a gnawing chill;
I don't mind him bringing toys,
But the S.O.B. sends me the bill;

Quoting Ollie Owl. "High off the Hog"

Since my retirement I've been eating "High off the Hog". The other
day my wife took a look at me and said, "now I know where the rest of the
hog went".

Quoting Ollie Owl, To Lie?

Should I lie before or,
Should I lie after,
That is the question?
If you never lie,
You will never cry,
That is my suggestion!

Door of Regret by Ollie Owl

There came a knocking upon my door,
One late and dreary night;
Should I open it or not,
That was my pending plight;

Bang! Bang! Bank! the door shook,
Rattling upon it's rusty gear;
Terror gripped my lonely soul,
Wish it would depart from here;

Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
Louder and louder it came;
Please! Please! Please! go away,
To never speak my name;

Hiding in a corner of a room,
Time winding down the clock;
Perhaps I will open the door someday,
When opportunity comes to knock;

Quoting Ollie Owl, Mail Box Stuffers

One good thing that has come from our current financial crises, our mailbox
is no longer filled with credit card offers.

Quoting Ollie Owl, Whos faul is it?

Who is at fault for our current National crises? We are, we placed our
trust in those we thought would work for the benefit of all the people.
They betrayed our trust by selling their allegiance to the highest bidder.
Until we replace them this crises will continue.

Quoting Ollie Owl, Start the Revolution

"We the Animals" should take lessons from the Financial Interests and the
Corporations and hire our own corrupt politicians.

Marvin Mallard's college football playoff.

RECOMMENDATION FOR A PLAYOFF SYSTEM FOR MAJOR COLLEGE FOOTBALL:


The below is a recommendation for a playoff system for Major College
Football teams.  The top eight rated teams in the BCS system were used.
Teams from the Big East and the ACC conference are not included.  I don't
think anyone believes that a team with a weaker schedule and is not included
in the top eight teams and a team with a record of 8 and 4, should even be
in the playoff. Of course those who root for a team in one of the
effected conference will disagree. My recomendation would be to drop
the computer ranking and use the AP, if they are willing, the USA Today's
coaches and the Harris poll's consensus.



EXAMPLE FOR PROPOSED MAJOR COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF:

Quarterfinals:

Date: Jan 1, 2008

15 Million Payout   Semifinals:

                 Date: Jan 10, 2009
Game One:
              
Oklahoma (1)        17 Million payout
_______________ 
                 Winner Gm one

*(Rose Bowl)      _____________

Penn State (8)     (Game five)
_______________                          Finals:    

                 *(Fiesta)
Game two:                                Date: Jan 17, 2009

Alabama (4)
_______________                          25 Million payout
                 Winner Gm two                          
#(Capt One)

                 _____________        BCS Championship
USC (5)                                                 
_______________                          Winner Gm five
                                      ______________
                                                     
Game three:                              (Miami)         Champion
                                                      ________
Florida (2)
_______________                          Winner Gm six
                 Winner gm three      _____________
*(Orange) 
                 _____________    

Texas Tech (7)      (Game six)
_______________


Game four:          *(Sugar)   

Texas (3)
_______________
                 Winner gm four
#(outback)
                 _____________
Utah (6)
_______________

*These bowls to rotate each year.
#Encluded these bowls because they had the highest payout last season.


Those bowls with an @ would be major bowls and those with a # would
be consider mini-major bowls.

Current Bowls:
Capital One - Iowa vs South carolina (could have had Ala vs USC)
Outback - Georgia vs Michigan State (could have had Texas vs Utah)
Rose - Penn State vs USC(could have had Okla vs Penn St.)
Sugar - Alabama vs Utah (could have had Fla/Tex Tech vs Tex/Utah)                      
Orange - Cincinnati vs Va Tech (could have had Fla vs Texas Tech)
Fiesta - Ohio State vs Texas  (could have had Okla/Penn St. vs Ala/USC)                        
Four of the eight teams would play twice and two teams would play three
times.

Quoting Ollie Owl. The Beauty We See.

"He who sees not the beauty in life, sees not the reason to be".

Quoting Ollie Owl. Tax Payer Money.

When politicians are elected to office they believe that the Tax Payer's money
belongs to them and they spend it as if there will be no tomorrow.

Marvin Mallard,The Swampland Gazette's Sports Guru.

If you think I smell, get a whiff of the BCS Computer Rankings, they stink
to High Heaven. Of course there is no bias here, just ask them. Down here
in Swampland, many of the animals are Gator fans. When the Gators beat
Alabama for the SEC championship, everyone was celebrating that the Gators
would be in the BCS championship game. I warned them not to celebrate
until the BCS ratings came in. I warned them that the unbiased Computer
System would probably have the Gators number three and I was right.
They tried bless their hearts but they didn't succeed. Fortunately
the coaches saw fit to rate the Gators second by .0001 point.

I did a little research and came up with the following for these infallible
Computer Ratings:

1. Anderson and Hester.

This computer rating is conducted by two individuals who reside in Washington
State and are alumni of the University of Washington. Their final regular season
top ten rankings are as follows:

Oklahoma - one; Utah - two; Texas - three; Florida - four; Texas Tech - five;
Alabama - six; Boise State -seven; Penn State - eight; (USC - nine); Ohio State - ten

To me this indicates their pro PAC-10, Minus USC, and pro-west coast teams
biases. Of all of the computer rankings they ranked USC the lowest?

2. Peter Wolfe.

Dr. Wolfe is employed by the English Department at UCLA. His top 10 picks
are as follows:

Oklahoma - one; Texas - two; Texas Tech - three; Florida - four; Utah - five;
Boise State - six; Alabama - seven; (USC - eight); Penn State - nine; Ohio State - ten.

Notice his first three teams are from the Big-12 and the two other west coast teams
are ranked above UCLA's #l rival. Yep! no bias here. Gotta keep out those rotten
SEC teams, They've been in the BCS too many times.

3. Richard Billingsly.

He has been a long time contributor to the Sporting News and ESPN. He was
instrumental in the creation of ESPNs College Football Encyclopedia. His top ten
picks are as follows:

Oklahoma - one; Florida - two; USC - three; Texas - four; Alabama - five; Texas Tech -
six; Utah - seven; Boise State - eight; Penn State - nine; Ohio State - ten.

Mr. Billingsly has been doing this for a long time and his picks is the only one that
I put any faith in.

4. Colley Matrix. Mr. Colley was born in Tennessee and went to college at
Virginia Tech. He's currently a Research Scientist at the University of Alabama
at Huntsville, Ala. His brother played football at the University of Georgia. His top
ten picks are as follows:

Oklahoma - one; Texas - two; Florida three; Utah - four; Alabama - five; Texas Tech -
six; USC - seven; Boise State - eight; Ohio State - nine; Penn State - 10.

He has a propensity to rate teams in the ACC higher than other teams. I leave it
to your opinion where his loyalties lie.

5. Kenneth Massey is a graduate of Virginia Tech and lives in Roanoke, Va. His
College was Bluefield College in south western Virginia. He was envited by
Roy Kramer (former SEC Commissioner, Head football coach at Central Michigan, and
Athletic Director at Vanderbilt) to become a member of the computer rankings for
the BCS. Roy Kramer is the father of the BCS system. His top 10 picks:

Oklahoma - one; Texas Tech - two; Texas - three; Utah - four; Florida - five;
Alabama - six; USC - seven; Boise State - eight; TCU - nine; Penn State ten.

He too, in my opinion, is for any team but one from SEC conference and he also
rates ACC teams higher than other teams in simular circumstances.

5. Ken Sagarin. He is an MIT and University of Indiana graduate. He is
Associated with USA Today. His top 10 picks:

Oklahoma - one; Texas Tech - two; Texas - three; Florida - four; Utah - five;
Alabama - six; USC - seven; Boise State - eight; TCU - nine; Penn State - ten.

With the exception of Billingsly you can see how those running the Computers
tried to manipulate the BCS and the Bowl games.

Is there any doubt in anyone's mind that we definitely need a playoff system?

Marvin Mallard.

Lesson Learned by Ollie Owl

The hopes of human kind,
Get twisted and they break;
By those who never give,
And those who only take;

The dreams of mere mortals,
Are far beyond our reach;
If first we never follow,
The lessons that we teach;

"The New World Plantation" by Ollie Owl

The plan by the powers that are in their attempts to bring Third World
Nations up to a First World status, through unfair treaties and one sided
legislation, has back fired. Instead, by allowing corporations to close
plants and send the jobs overseas to take advantage of cheap labor, it has
resulted in no one left to purchase these goods. All they have succeeded
in doing is making us a Third World Nation.

In my opinion, this was done by design and not through happenstance.
The American people are now getting what they were conned into voting
for.

Welcome to the "New World Plantation" fellow peons.

The "New World Plantation" owners should commend their overseers
for doing a thorough job on we "The Gullible".

Quoting Ollie Owl. "Legerdemain"

The legerdemain of our government never fails to amaze me.
Did you see how fast they made that Trillion of tax payer dollars
vanish into thin air?

The Tattered Robe by Ollie Owl

Upon the day of his coronation,
The King went to his treasury room;
He opened the locked box of treasures,
And came away filled with gloom;

He wanted a brand new castle,
But there was nothing he could do;
For when he opened the box,
He found stacks of I.O.U.s;

His Executor of the Treasury said,
Worry not you're troubled heart;
For the fools and their money,
Soon shall be rendered apart;

In this land of three classes,
Of one we shall ignore;
They have nothing to tax,
We will forget about the poor;

A tax decree went forward,
To the wealthy it was faxed;
But there were so many loopholes,
That they could not be taxed;

Another tax decree went forward,
To those in the middle sway;
Alas there was no middle class,
They had been taxed away;

The Executor of the Treasury said,
Worry not we will give it another slash;
With just one little computer stroke,
They invented more spending cash;

So, worry not about today,
Or even if tomorrow dawns;
For when it comes retribution day,
We both will be gone;

Quoting Ollie Owl. "Reality".

"Beyond the sleeping mind lies an awakening reality".