Yes, Donald there is a Santa Claus, by Ollie Owl.

Dear Editor, I am 68 years old and my little friends say there is no
Santa Claus. Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Donald, there use to be a Santa Claus, but he retired many years ago.
He was given a Golden Parachute of several hundred millions of dollars
when he sold his interests in the toy factory. A foreign subsidiary of an
American corporation bought the toy factory, laid off all the elves and
moved the toy factory offshore to take advantage of the cheaper labor.
Now your parents are paying for the sub-standard toys that are being
manufactured overseas. Yes, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as sure
as the National News Media exists to tell you what the politicians really
meant to say. Although you and most Americans will not see any gifts
under a non-existent Christmas tree, the Christmas haters have seen
to that, does not mean that there is no Santa. Santa Claus lives and will
continue to live to make glad the hearts of the financial interests. However,
today he is better known as the "United States Government", who lavish
expensive gifts on the largest contributors to their campaign fund in order
to stay in power, using your parents tax money.


Ollie Owl
Editor
Swampland Gazette