Bah! Humbug!, by Rodney Rat

It was the morning of Christmas,
While waiting for Santa to come;
He was late as usual,
That fat inconsiderate bum;

The children had already arose,
And visited the Christmas tree;
Looking for all their presents,
That they would never see;

The children nestled back into their beds,
And me in front of the fire place;
Calling Santa every name in the book,
Oh! what an humongous disgrace,

Setting across from the chimney,
A twelve gauge as my clout;
When his feet touch the floor,
I'm going to take that sucker out;

There came a clatter upon the roof,
That gave me a gnawing chill;
I don't mind him bringing toys,
But the S.O.B. sends me the bill;